Purity Ring, the Phantom Tollbooth, and feeling too much
Do you ever want to fold? Like, the weight of existence almost pushes the air out of your lungs when you exhale and your chest feels tight?
Do you ever get tired of carrying it all? Even if you play the game of "well, other people have it worse than I do", doesn't it wear you down and keep you from enjoying things you used to love?
Does it ever feel like it's too much? Or that you feel too much?
It's ok, you can be honest here. I'm raising my hand right there with you, and I bet almost every single person you or I have ever known has been there. Some of us are there right now. Some of us might be stuck there. You're in good company if you're there right now.
Now listen, I didn't start this off this way to be a downer. If this is too much for you right now, that's ok! Save this for later and go read something you love, or listen to happy music, or step outside and put your bare feet on the ground.
For the rest of you, let's carry on.
I'm a big fan of Purity Ring. The band, not the whole "let's make our children promise to not get frisky ever before marriage and we'll make it weirder with jewelry and legal documents" thing. Like, if that's your thing, then sure I guess?
Purity Ring. I'll level with you - I don't get a lot of the lyrics. I'm not much of a poet, so much of what's being said just goes right over my head. But sprinkled in throughout their entire discography, there are some certified Beautiful Phrases™️ in between the great beats, catchy music, and fantastic singing.
I have a lot of favorites from them, but one of my all-time favorite lines comes from the track Inovein (what):
"You are the shadow time won't take away from me."
I think about this line a lot. The meaning changes all the time; sometimes it's related to those cringey moments we all had growing up that we're ashamed or embarrassed of, and other times it reminds me of someone I lost or no longer have in my life.
Maybe it's the longing for "better days", or missing someone gone too soon, or your favorite sweater. Whatever it is, we all have shadows and we can either stay captives to them or find ways to fold them into ourselves.
When I'm in the grips of feelings of anxiety or depression, feeling held captive by these shadows, I've learned to sit with them. I don't need to poke and prod these feelings, or investigate them, or ignore them. Instead, I let them be; I feel them, acknowledge them, and find a way to keep myself grounded. Maybe that's a stress ball I can squeeze, or some dishes I can clean, or a fidget toy. Whatever it is, I take up some of my attention with a tangible action and allow the feelings to run their course.
It's not a perfect system, but it helps me and you're welcome to use it too.
One of my annual traditions, although there's no set day or month when I start this one, is reading The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. I love this book and will likely recommend you read it at some point if I haven't already.
If you're unfamiliar with the story, we meet a boy named Milo who is always in a hurry to get to the next thing, but always bored and dissatisfied with his life. One day he comes home to find a gift containing the Phantom Tollbooth, which takes him to a new world full of strange characters and places.
Besides the clever wordplay throughout the book and the likability of the characters, this book is one of my favorites because it's easy to relate to Milo.
At the beginning of the story, Milo is stuck in a rut. Nothing excites him, he doesn't see the point in things, and he's deeply dissatisfied with how things are, but either doesn't know how or doesn't care enough to change his situation. By the end of the story, he's found a whole new passion for life and emerges a new person, and it's all thanks to the intervention of the Phantom Tollbooth and a dose of curiosity.
While I likely won't be receiving a Phantom Tollbooth any time soon (wink wink, the holidays are coming up!), this book reminds me that I have the power to change my circumstances, or at the very least, my attitude. It also reminds me that sometimes all I need is a change of Perspective.
The point of this tradition is that sometimes we need the comfort of something we know and won't be surprised by, and that's ok. I take away something new every time I read it, and that's one of the many reasons I love it.
Before you go, be sure to check out our new shirts and tell someone you love them. It's rough out there and we all need more love, encouragement, compassion, and support than ever before.
Thanks for being here!
- Kit